saturday. at home. never go out. training missed. boos.
suddenly realised that i need red therapy! bought a RED foolscape n a RED marker. wanted to buy a RED earing n RED clip. hahas. i'm in LLLOOOOOOVVVVVVVEEEEE with red.
jus suddenly had the urge. maybe it helps to brighten up the days. havin tution tmr. make up. otherwise i'll be stuck at home again.
mum says green bean soup is good to get rid of heatiness and toxic in the body, so i drank a big big bowl of it today. got quite sick of the taste. it's too sweet.
called gen today to ease my boredoom.she went for training. call mal. she was in school too! looks like gg to schoolthese days is e trend n i'm jus plain stuck in my room. luckily, gen called back after she reached home. we talked for a while n caught up a bit. missed her much much these days, esp when my mood swings. missed mal too. they will always be there. when i sees them, they always brighten up my days without them knowing it. my tkd friends too.
seriously these days i choose to speak less and less to her. i don't know what's the XXX wrong with her. i tried to make peace, but she dosen't appreciate at all. what's her XXX problem. attitude sucks.

had trainin ytd! so long didn't train for so long... rhymes? hahas. felt satisfied though. managed to do quite a lot. had a lot a lot of seaweed! yummy! oh no! today i nv go! don't know whether still have not, i want! hahas. n we played a trick on yy... hee hee. sorry papa, but 90% amusement! thanks for that! :)
i'm home today. missed trainin AGAIN. must be some plauge or virus that got stuck to me and made me fall sick. damm. she was down ytd, so, shoud i be glad that i'm in team, given my present state? but i still felt confused and angry with self that i can't give my best. think i missed quite a few training these few weeks. i promised myself i'll not miss any again starting from next week. bet they're havin fun now. i stuck at home with the com. baba. so glad that i made the right choice a year ago. otherwise my life will be damm boring now. i want to train n play! i swear i'll never ever be those muggers who go home and mug after the bell for school end rings. it's not that have anything thing against them, but this is not my life.
i'm kindaa suay these days. everything that is bad (ok, at least i think it's bad enough) will come n stick to me. grrr...
n i have this econs test on monday which is sports day. wat a brilliant idea it was. baba.
was feelin damm sick today in school. went to the sick bay n the beds there are seriously NOT CLEAN!!!! if i'm not feelin so bad, i wouldn't even want to step in there,seriously. the bed in QM room was much much nicer, n i missed it loads!
maybe these days i've been less sensitive to others,i choose not to care, i choose to stone in my own world, i am seriously not in the mood. so sorry if i've been insensitive, i've been bad.

saw cherly's quote today: just give ur 100% n god will do the rest!

guess what, i brought home holy's water bottle yesterday n papa's umbrella todayby mistake. what am i??? what am i??? what am i??? hahas. wonder what i'll be bringin home tmr. hahas.
suddenly i felt that my worries last time was unduly for, now it's worse. who can be more suay than me la seriously.
jus watched e IVP video, was looking at the kicks, missed doing it so so much. wanted to do so so badly, but i know i can't. cos it'll be bad for my group. i mus finish this competition, no matter what.
and so, had my tution again today, was in a not really good mood, so went to tm to shop before going. bought a clip, managed to perk me up, but not much. tmr i'll be reminded of it again. when will it end.

monday, bad day.
hm, not exactly bad la... but still, not very good indeed.
almost reach school n kana con by adriano that the nature way was faster.
i swear never to take that route again when i'm almost late.
going home, rain rain rain! got half myself wet cos i shared umbrella with holy.
n she made me bring home her heavy green tea bottle. bully me. i'm gonna get back at her.
hahas.
hope tmr will be better.
yups!
lao wang, not bad name la. hahas.

it's again another weekend!
the days are passing so fast n before i knew it, another week ahead!
i'm trying hard to accept the fact that it true though it's a bit saddening, but at least i'm coping fine now, not as emo as it was, but who knows it might just burst again when it's nearer to 13.
cos of it, i really don't feel like staying out late n i jus want to go home. n i missed the fun of it all, thinkin of it, i kinda regret. boo boos.
i'm still stuck with all my homework that's piling up like no one's business. i jus don't feel like doing, i'm procrastinating, though i know they are all urgent.
i'm so sorry guys that i can't join u all for training for a few days, felt really stupid about it.
for now, hope everything will be better.
*shrugs*

everything sucks!
what am i supposed to do now?
stare into blank space???
thing are just not gg the right way, everything just came one after another n seems to pile on. no wonder people say that bad things come together one after another.
i''m already trying very very hard not to let it affect my life, and most importantly, my team of girls. but i just can't help it. should i say i'm suay?
as the days goes by, it seems further n further, i really hope that i'll be fine soon, so that i can make good use of training time, but i feel like i'm really wasting it n there's only one more month left.
initially, i thought that there's still two months left, so i looked forward to it's recovery. time has proved me wrong. it's still there. is it because i didn't rest enough? if it is, it's all my fault.
i really don't wanna pull them down, that's why i've been trying really really hard. but it's still the same. i even thought of replacing myself with XX. but, i still want to train, i don't know, i'm confused.
went to the doc yesterday with adriano. at least hers take 3 months or full recovery, but mine?? 9 MONTHS! what am i supposed to do while it gets better? i don't have the luxury of time!
aft that meet niang on the train n took the bus home tgt. papa was sick, mut be not enough rest n all the things that happened recently. my world revolves around it. even though i think of it during lectures, it's still like that. okok, STOP!
but i just want you to know, please don't blame yourself, it all started with me n i really don;t know what to do. i want to see the bubbly u again!!