Thursday, February 28, 2008
Whee hee! it was a fun day today! it has been a long long time ever since i felt so superb on a weekday!!!! satisfied n thrilled!
hahas... so e day started with the mundane work... n then some nike ppl came to sell nike stuff in a pantry! was browing through the clothes n stuff, n time passed so fast! it has never been so in e past, it seems to crawl away slowly, but today... zoom!! hahas.
then met julia at compass! whoo hoo!! hasn't been seeing her for so long! though we stayed so near each other... hee n then went over to make tiramisu n chocolate truffles!!!! yummy! the scent of chocolate is still lingering on my hands! feels like i just had a choco spa! hahas...but it was fun whipping the cream n trying to splice teh chocolates n rolling e balls! hahas, i mean e chocolate balls la!it was fun fun n fun! i should thank her for making my weekday so interesting! n this is e tiramisu... well, forgot to take a pic of the truffles though, n my bailey's! has came handy! added some in to e tiramisu, but guess it was too lil, e taste was barely there.
NTU open tmr!! have to travelall e way to boon lay. suuuupppperrrrr far! but i get to meet papa n dear niang, so i guess it's worth the trip! n holy! i want subway for lunch ok! hahas... can't wait for tmr! plus plus! e incentive of leaving school early to go there! though i'll only get half a day's pay, but all that is happening n e thought of no more enduring my boring school life is just tantalizing!!! whee! n i'm gg to have a great weekend! no school! yea!
Monday, February 25, 2008
had a marvellous weekend! but not a superb week. boos. but... anyway...
first, stayover at manda's house on friday!
screams n hugs to them!! it has been so long ever since we saw each other, n what's more! everyone was there! realised how much i missed them. so we playedn watched movies throughout the nite. guess everyone was tired so we fell asleep watchin knocked up. hahas a funny show, about this one nite stand news reporter n mind u, e show is vulger with all e f words splattering the screen now and then, hahas.
poor huiqi was so sad. didn't have e time n privacy to tell me what actually happened, guess we'll meet up real soon, till then, hold on yea, darling?
haha! n sat was dance! went tgt with angelina! ages ever since we met to go there, hahas... n had fun though, rolling here n there n my back hurts, when i rolled over n my bone was like grinding the floor. if only i had more meat to cushion is. hahas. n i still couldn't do a handstand properly, well, that may be my resolution this month! hahas..
n i met HOLY!!!! went to airport n gave her a bailey's surprise! alcohol addict, hahas. i still think hoe garden is not nice!!!! hee... anyway... played bball at ws! yea! thought we will do damm badly, but surprisingly... we were the best ard that at that time!we got thru all stages! n got e highest at that time! 3oo something? better than my previous scores! hahas... 默气ah... hee. n she was savouring her cup of chunky monkey n there was i staring at her cos i was too sick of e food i had earlier on... hahas, but i did have a bite. yum yum! had to go home early as i still have tution at like 10 am! in e morning e next day...boos. but at least i met her.
sunday! late late reunion dinner with sfa! hahas, in e dance studio actually, never imagined thaat place could be converted into a dinning area actually, hahas. it was fun! played blackjack with a few others. we started with like 10 cents? hahas... n i think i earned 20 cents? hahas. ok, not something to be proud of, but the fact is, at least i didn't lose. hahas.
yuying!
yan ran!
n so today is monday! not so bad la, i guess, at least now more ppl are free n i have my talktime buddies. hee hee.
hope for a better tmr! :)
Friday, February 22, 2008
terrible, from head to toe.
i just don't get it, why can't i be enjoying everything i'm doing just like everyone else?
i seriously hate it, i hate waking up in e mornings, looking at e dimly lit sky n know that i have to go. why?
i know i've been complaining a lot these days, but i just can't help it. i'm sincerely sorry if i irritated u. everytime a surge of helplessness arouse, i just want to shout it out. i'm confused, really confused. people dosen't seem e way they were, was it because thay needed your help that time? the typical please help me tone n u r so nice n smart comments after it, n once u r no longer useful, they simply ignore u, or demeans your importance in their lives.
i hate to pretend, pretending to be smiling when u feel like bursting, but there's no other way out. in e hope to feel better, but u feel worse when u r not heard. sometimes it's better to just keep quiet. maybe.
i hate myself for feeling this way, why is it only me? why can't i be normal? so maybe e problem is with me. but i just don't know how to change it. i've been trying, but nothing seems to be working. my picture perfect is just a fantasy.
sometimes i just feel like bursting out into tears, but i know that will only make myself look more childish, who e hell at this age would be bothered by these things? i never felt so terriblt in tj except here, the past and the present. or maybe it's e school. :(
everyday, single moment of the time, i was wishing e weekends would never end.
saw her in e morning, she made a comment, i can feel a distancing unfamiliarity between us. yes, i'm convinced, it's me.
i really don't know what to do to end this interminable nightmare. i really don't.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
when the sun rises
when i look outside
i know it's a new beginning
a brand new day
this day is not beautiful
as i want it to be
this day is not exciting
a mundane drudgery
where's e hope and laughter
all gone, where's the her?
no more jokes, no more words
only laconic-ness
a surge of energy inside there
wants beneath to enjoy everything
but the devil takes it all
and asked her to moan instead
lesser meeting ups
misses them so
enthusiastic?
a chore, a drudgery, a tear
procrastination?
a new found friend
much she dosen't wants to
did it anyway
purpose, meaning, lost.
lethargic to relationships
tiring, give up?
interaction, socialisation, PR, she realise
now she just hides in her cave
to her dismay, she dosen't know why
much as she dosen't wants to
it just happened, anyway.
she feels she's not strong to overcome it
intoxication, maybe?
it helps to bring troubles away
the stairway to cloud 9
a solution perhaps
harm, she knew
floating around aimlessly
she vowed to find her placing
not where she identifies herself currently,
but silently hope that god will help.
hahas, guess where i found this? :)
singapore got the glory n honour, e rest is up to u.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
procrastinating.
leaving undone things undone.
who said that chores are meant to be finished?
satisfaction level zonked down to the minimum.
a fantasy or a reality?
i need to wake up.
just like the book, i need to move on, and find interest in things i do, so as to ensure i give my best. felt like being accosted by the procrastination bug and feeling not at all intrepid about searching for exciting chores.
went to do things that i shouldn't have done while leaving those supposedly to be done lingering on my to-do list.
so, i went cp and found this book by Jodi Picoult "My Sister's Keepers", and a few of those inspirational books that is supposed to make me feel excited and enthusiastic about my all so mundane life. well, let's see of it works.
can't wait for fri, then i can pour out everything matched with a tinge of bailey's to huiqi, maybe a bottle perhaps, hahas. intoxication nope. i'll stick to a few cups maybe. hahas.
thinking of my four periods, i really feel like just being ignorant of my surroundings and steeped in my readings. who cares about them when they don't give a damm about your existence? i agree totally. bugis street, e final destination.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
whoa! my 101 post! my next target shall be 200! hahas.
talked to holy till late late n kana scolding from my mum cos she thinks that i'm too loud.
hahas. miss her too much that's why, got carried away.
my tution kid is now MIA-ing, can't arrange a datewith her. a cute lil girl called kacie.
the most intesting thing i did today was to draw four cartoon drawings in class, this is how boring it was. n i decided to give them to 死党 n darling! hahas.
huiqi finally have a blog, aft MIA-ing for a year, u know ar.... ah hem! hahas! waiting for more love confessions on her blog. hahas.
yes! i'm finally meeting holy on sat! hope we can meet n i mean for at least 2 hrs straight. hahas. i want my subway.
can't believe it's so hard looking for a satisfactory job. it's just too hard.
can't wait for sat! cos it's e only day in e week when i'm freed from the drudgery of surviving through the interminable relief periods. i guess i'll master the art of stoning n blocking out noise神功 at e end of my job. hahas.
Monday, February 18, 2008
finally it's over! three days on a row sure made my legs ache, though we didn't do e whole day, but still, guess it's e continuous and e waiting part that got it all uptight. hahas... but still, it was fun! at least something interesting out of my boring-mundane-can't-wait-to-get-out-of-it relief life. i'm so super irritated by it! rah! shall not let it spoil my mood.
took lots of pictures and can't wait to have them! too bad it's not my camera, so have to wait for yun yun to upload them. well, this is e only one i got. me n 刘星.
poor sophie was sick on sunday, n it got all of us tightened up with last min changes one hour right before e morning performance. whew! n e stage was super small that i keep banging the board at e side and i was almost dancing with the wall behind, well, at least it helped me a bit when i couldn't balance, hahas, i leaned against it, hee, not supposed to but i couldn't care much. was too tired n hungry. hope it's not too obvious, hahas.
before our item was this duet singing by some auntie n uncle, so angelina and me was like imitating them at e backstage, hahas. we needed entertainment. n we laughed our stomachs off!
n seriously i don't understand how could yu yuing injured her feel while she was sleeping, hahas. funny girl. we were resting after the super icy cold chicken rice and she fell asleep. n she say they hurt when she woke up, poor her, and we have to do this jump and spread-out-your-legs action after that, hope that she's better!
well,so we ended up at tanjong pagar cc in e evening. well, at least i'm not that nervous, but it was quite dramatic argueing with that lad who scolded us 'budok' after we left, hello? like we care for your accusations. we were just asking her of the props her child was holding belonged to ours. obviously it belonged to the chinese dance category, but how would i know if an indian dance uses that? it's identical ok! well, i was amused at her "why u say i take your things, u mean only u can buy that ar?" when all we asked was "sorry, but does that belonged to us?", well, no point wasting our energy talking to such an uncivilised person, but it just seems like she 不打自招 kinda reply. n she's a grown up! supposed to be more mature than us but i don't know why she sounded so defensive, as if we said she took it. couldn't be bothered to let her spoil our night.
n it was so cute looking at those lil children dance! come to think of it now, i miss the dance, hahas.
it's e start of another boring week... when will my life change for the better? boos.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
i survived! for two days of practise and a day of performance.
tue was bad. i dragged myself wearily to the studio after piano when i was almost half dead, being plagued by the horrendous flu. luckily daddy came to fetch me home so i didn't have to bear with the interminable chore of waiting for the train.
but guess i'm getting better, so ya! yea! hahas...
wed was alright, was quite stress trying to remember all e steps, whoa! once i got e hang of it, everything came out more naturally! yippie!
then lao shi decided to let us off or a day on thurs, valentine's day! hahas, but i had no valentine, so i spent the day doing the gifts. n oh! mrs cherry lim's muffin was so super nice that i gluped down e whole big big muffin, or should i say savour? :)
then it was e big day! hahas, ok la, not really, but i was irate when i was hungry and couldn't sit down properly and enjoy my food. boos. i hate it when i'm tired n hungry and i can't eat. that day was some total defence day n e canteen wasn't open till 12 which i didn't have a chance to eat cos my lessons were like all e way! grrr... rushed down n was late, thanks ar, but at least lao shi have not arrived yet. whew!
went to put on e super tight leotard, but guess it expanded after a while, so, at least i can breathh. hahas, n our make up was super super thick i promise i'll scare whoever sees me if i walked on the street. but cos the lightings on the stage was quite bright, had to do it otherwise we'll look ghostly to the audience.
and so, when we tried the stage before the whole thing started, we were sweating as if we've just been drenched, it was HOT HOT HOT! and guess who i saw! hahas. so unexpected, i was like squirming my eyes and wondering if she was who i saw! hahas, ok, our secret! but she looked so cute with her hair!
and my cousin was there too! she went to perform wushu. didn't get the chance to see her performance cos mine was like two items after hers, bafore this group of chior aunties and uncles singing some songs in dialect. they were good. ok, i can't sing, hahas.
n my fan couldn't open la cos it overshot when we were turning it! this is e part i hated most.n so i just used both hands to open in e middle of the performance. i was trying very very hard to hide my mistake behind the beautiful facade, hope no one notices it. but still, it was funny.
n i almost coudn't get onto xue liang for the final pose. i just die die also must get on top, so i muster all e energy i could n poof! i was up! hahas.
photos! after the performance! upload it next time. but basically we went in the middle of the plants n flowers n took photos, hahas.
n i'm starting to feel a sense of belonging in there. :)
last but not least, huiqi! hang in there! u can do it de! muacks! :)
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
didn't felt right since ytd.missed school today, anyway didn't have much to do too, so i guess its alright.wanted to get better for the performances this weekend, but, boos, guess i have to bear with the drudgery of making the extra effort to do every lil thing that comes my way because i'm being badgered with the voracious flu bug that seems to be everywhere.ltr still have piano lessons n practice. hope i can survive till then! i'm not an automaton!!!!life is getting more n more boring as e days goes by, wahs! i must find something interesting to do, don't want to waste my time away!!!! i'm still caught in between, a dilemma, will it get better? if only i could prognosticate. jus hope for the better.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
for e past few days, it was just food n visiting! n hongbaos!
yes! it's true that the average hongbao is 10 bucks cos i experienced it! hahas, because the government said that e economy is doing well, hahas, n i get to benefit from it! wahahas...
well, supposed to go visiting with the girls on e second day but alas! had to go my fathers's friends house n i miss it! had dinner at my uncle's place which is at pasir ris with such a senic view from the house i'll fell like paradise if i ever lived there, it feels like u own a private pool cos it's just within 3 m from the backyard! wow! n i took some pics with my cousins which i missed so much! a girl who's been with me since i was born. okies, she's only a year younger than me la, hahas, but we were there for each other no matter what! she's been quite busy cos she's in year 2 now, just like me last year.
n they always helped me to clear my notes at end of major exams! hahas...
n oh! we kida went back to nostalgic mcnair road! hahas, that was where i stayed till i moved to punggol 6 years ago! missed e place n it has since changed so much!
n mummy! i love u!
well, well, then! met up with my sj darlings ytd! went over to eunice's house n shermain went to her old house at crocodile farm, hahas... so funny! she said she was downstairs n we were like huh? cos eunice stayed in a semi-d kind of house. hahas. blur SP!
oh! n sidang wore e similar shirt as me! hahas, ok la, e only similarity was that it ad a ribbon behind! hahas... n we played with tis small small mahjong set which eunice said should just use two fingers to mix em. hahas.
den i have to leave early too! don't know why this year have so much visiting!!!! went over to my another relative house n we lo hei! hahas, look at this fish! i used my creative juices n created e sheng long huo hu eyes! hahas.
had lotsa good food! yummy! hope i still weigh e same! hee!
happy chinese new year again!
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Happy Chinese New Year!!!!
RATTY YEAR!
hahas. went to watch e firecrackers at chinatown ytd, similar a year ago. n there was this sale on mochi and e taiwan cakes. $3 a packet!! put full full also can! come ah! come ah!
these was what we heard. hahas, n we bought quite a lot sia. it's not that we bought a lot, it's just that $5 n $3 is a lot. look at these! hahas.
so we went to e usual places we go to every year... n i took this with my cousin, she forbids me to put it up but i think she looked quite alright, hahas.
n my beloved cousins!
loved my gramdma's cheng teng, had two bowls! hahas yummy! n than in between we went to my father's collegue's houses n finally over to my aunt's hse! wa! yummy chicken abalone porridge! ate two more bowls! n the fruit n prawn salad! yummy!
tyler!!
went home quite early ard 9 cos no gambling den this year, hahas, maybe tmr. :)
realised it's getting less n less fun as e years goes by, hahas, maybe it'll get better tmr! hahas.
well, i learnt must learn to accept what's given to me n live with it.
恭喜发财!
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
yea! si dang gave me this heart!
love u loads! though sometimes our relationship may seem rocky in e past n present, i believe each time we emerged stronger! e indescribable feelings i went thru during my journey with u! i believe god sent u down to me for a reason.
thanks! n a million muacks!
sorry for attempting to ask if u need help with teaching, i was really boos these few days.
i promise i won't ever think of it again k?
glad that u had fun in sjc with sheila.
n thanks for standing by me everytime. sometimes u want to help but don't know where to start, but i thank u for e effort, your thought of helping is enough. 事事有时并非如此, 我只想谢谢你的诚心. muacks! wish u all e best with u n ur kuku!
i miss my 2G terribly, they never fail to make me smile. :) n they were always so bubbly!
yea! yea! tmr is chinese new year! got lotsa good food n stuff! yummy! ni can see my beloved tyler! oh man...this is how cute he is.
collect hongbao! n meet my friends! a pity i couldn't go on friday... i promise u girls i'll pop down if i could. pei lian! it's been ages since i saw u!!!! hahas...
n oh! don't worry sidang about growing fat! i promise i'll be here to go on an exercise regime with u to help u regain your sexy figure! hahas...
n of course! holy! i miss u!!!!!!! date! 13th feb! promise! :)
hope next year will be better cos i know it all depends on me!
today ms chow told me what i'm supposed to do for e rest of the semester. co-teach. disappointing. hope it won't bore me and give me e same satisfaction as teaching a proper class.
things didn't really go e way i want it to be, or maybe i thought it would. e world is cruel. maybe there isn't a default to follow. anything can happen. i'm so afraid of losing something.
i learnt something today. 凡事都要看开就好.比环竟不会因你而变化, 你得应环竟的改变慢慢改变适应. 没有东西是永久的.你应改不怕失去, 而庆幸你成经拥有.
but sometimes it's difficult to do it.
it's a new year soon. i really don't wanna let my life be tainted with these.
so be happy! jiayou! :)
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
RAH! boos... :(
i really hope to begin a new year with a cheerful mind n happy soul.
Friday, February 1, 2008
last time walking down e row taking attendance in e morning
last time looking back at e probates to make sure they are present for assembly and seeing tessa screaming madly at me that she's here n martina waving and waving to notify me of her pressence.
took a whole lot of photos with e girls of 1F and 2G to make me rmb them, they were really cute! n the !F girls started this bob family and i;m called bob lee! wat the... hahas, but they were really cute n u could see from the way they behave and the way they think that life is still a beautiful landscape for them, well, at least they are still enjoying it! :)
yes, and e whole bunch of 2G girls was a fun lot! from camp till now, frm strangers to now, 在不知不觉中, 我渐渐地认识了她们.现在得说再见有点舍不的, 但天下无不散之延席, 每件事都该有个结果, 只是迟早的问题. but i'm glad that at least i met them. :)
i really can't see e fufillment n joy in doing the new routine assigned as she does, maybe we each have our own expectations of life. i really wished to do something meaningful durin my holidays and not waste it away, that's why i signed up for volunteer at KK. e joy u get when u see them smile, even though there's no pay, it's alr enough. the smiles n thank you u get are priceless!
