hello hello! tmr's the day and i ought to keep all my emotions sometimes it just dosen't feel quite right. like how i wish i was somewhere instead of home. but think rationally and i should go home. but it's like i jus don't feel right sitting in front of my computer right now. last time everytime before comp i'll see my team n spend the day or even the night tgt so that we'll be more at ease for the next day. so now just dosen't feels right.
she said i've changed, for the better or for the worse? i don't know. but now i start to think about it maybe i should notice it more often, but i certainly thinks that my tolerance level for things went up. it moulded me into what i am today. but sometimes u jus need to let it out.
so ytd was lousy day. disappointment. tried hard, went crazy, n had a teeny weeny bit aft trng.
today's not any better. i jus hoped that all those who really put in a lot of effort get's what they deserved.
n i still don't know what's wrong with her. seriously not even one percent clue about it.
sometimes when i come to think of it, i wondered why didn't i make that decision sooner, maybe things might be better for me. or it may even get worse. but i doubt so. it should have been better. but no matter what, it's already almost a year, n it's not so bad for me now, i guess. but u just want something better. i think that's my weak point.
really hoped that gen would come down tmr, i'll be so happy to see her, thinking of all the competitions we went thru, n e years of friends, whatever happened last time, they happened for a reason. but i'm really afrain that i'll cry, n i don't want her to sees it, cos i think i'll cry even more when i sees her.
tomorrow is going to be tough. n i'm gg to go thru it with minimal bad emotions.
still, i can't stand it that i'm at home noe. i jus don't feel like doing work but i feel quite bad slacking ard. i jus cannot concentrate.
well, things will be better. everything happened for a reason. :)
to my team: we'll show our best! we can do it cos we did it during trainings!
to the club: we'll do our best and show the rest. :)
jiayou ppl!!!