terrible, from head to toe.
i just don't get it, why can't i be enjoying everything i'm doing just like everyone else?
i seriously hate it, i hate waking up in e mornings, looking at e dimly lit sky n know that i have to go. why?
i know i've been complaining a lot these days, but i just can't help it. i'm sincerely sorry if i irritated u. everytime a surge of helplessness arouse, i just want to shout it out. i'm confused, really confused. people dosen't seem e way they were, was it because thay needed your help that time? the typical please help me tone n u r so nice n smart comments after it, n once u r no longer useful, they simply ignore u, or demeans your importance in their lives.
i hate to pretend, pretending to be smiling when u feel like bursting, but there's no other way out. in e hope to feel better, but u feel worse when u r not heard. sometimes it's better to just keep quiet. maybe.
i hate myself for feeling this way, why is it only me? why can't i be normal? so maybe e problem is with me. but i just don't know how to change it. i've been trying, but nothing seems to be working. my picture perfect is just a fantasy.
sometimes i just feel like bursting out into tears, but i know that will only make myself look more childish, who e hell at this age would be bothered by these things? i never felt so terriblt in tj except here, the past and the present. or maybe it's e school. :(
everyday, single moment of the time, i was wishing e weekends would never end.
saw her in e morning, she made a comment, i can feel a distancing unfamiliarity between us. yes, i'm convinced, it's me.
i really don't know what to do to end this interminable nightmare. i really don't.